Public Speaking Anxiety: How to Silence Doubt and Own the Stage

You're about to go on stage, berating yourself for volunteering to do this talk. Your heart is pounding, your palms are slick with sweat, and your breath is shallow. Your hands tremble as you struggle to maintain eye contact with the audience. The little voice in your head is relentless: What if I forget my words? What if they think I'm boring? As the spotlight looms, a surge of panic makes you want to run, hide, do anything but stand there and speak. The fear of stage fright intensifies, and for a split second, your mind goes blank, making you wonder if you're about to have a full-blown panic attack.

But the fear doesn’t always stop there. Sometimes, it keeps you from seizing opportunities, even when they’re the kind that could propel you forward. You might find yourself turning down invitations to speak, missing out on career-changing projects, or avoiding challenges that are too good to pass up, simply because the anxiety feels too overwhelming to face.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Public speaking anxiety is one of the most common fears, affecting even the most accomplished professionals. But why does this fear have such a tight grip on us? And more importantly, how can we silence the doubt and step into our power?

Why Do We Experience Public Speaking Anxiety?

Before we dive into solutions, let’s understand why our bodies and minds react so strongly to speaking in front of others.

1. The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response

Our ancestors relied on this survival mechanism to escape predators. Today, our brain perceives public speaking as a “threat,” activating the fight-flight-freeze response. When we have to speak in public, adrenaline surges, our heart races, and cortisol (the stress hormone) floods our system, leading to intense physical symptoms like sweating, shaking, and a dry mouth, making it hard to think clearly.

In fact, this heightened response can sometimes be a sign of social anxiety disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), social anxiety disorder is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be scrutinized or judged. This can include public speaking, where the fear of being negatively evaluated triggers extreme distress. The Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders highlights that these anxiety-driven symptoms can impair daily functioning, as they make it difficult to engage in normal social or professional interactions without significant discomfort.

2. Childhood Conditioning

Many of us were raised with messages like “Children should be seen and not heard” or “Don’t be too loud.” If we were shut down or ignored when expressing ourselves as children, it’s no wonder we fear judgment as adults. When we’ve been told our words or feelings aren’t valuable, or when we’ve faced ridicule or rejection for speaking up, it creates a deep-seated fear of judgment that can manifest in anxiety, not only in public speaking but in any situation where we feel vulnerable. The mind internalizes these messages, and even as adults, we can feel a visceral fear of being judged or criticized when we put ourselves in the spotlight.

3. Past Traumas and Negative Experiences

Maybe a teacher embarrassed you in front of the class, or you froze during a school presentation. Perhaps a well-meaning friend or family member made a comment about how “loud” you were, turning a small moment into something that stuck with you for years. Even seemingly small experiences can create deep-seated fears that follow us into adulthood, contributing to social anxiety and affecting our overall mental health.

These moments can leave lasting impressions. For instance, if a teacher publicly criticized you for a mistake, it might not just sting in the moment—it can reinforce the belief that speaking up or making a mistake is shameful. The trauma of that judgment can make it harder to speak in front of others or assert yourself in a group setting later in life. Similarly, if you were ignored or belittled during childhood when you tried to express yourself, that feeling of invisibility can extend into adulthood, making you second-guess your voice in all sorts of situations.

For some, trauma might stem from more serious experiences—like bullying or emotional neglect—that leave them feeling unworthy of attention or fearful of any form of criticism. Even if the event seems minor in hindsight, the emotional impact can be profound. These wounds don’t just vanish; they shape the way we interact with others and influence how we respond to situations that trigger those old fears.

4. Fear of Judgment

Humans crave acceptance. The fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected can feel overwhelming, especially in situations where we are in front of the room and all eyes are on us. Public speaking anxiety is rooted in this deep fear of evaluation by others. When we’re standing in the spotlight, we become hyper-aware of how we might be perceived, and the pressure to perform perfectly can be suffocating. The discomfort of being under scrutiny, combined with the worry that we might make a mistake, creates a cycle of self-doubt that’s hard to break.

For many, this fear isn’t just about the potential for judgment in the moment—it’s about the belief that any mistake could be seen as a reflection of our worth. When we face this fear, we often become fixated on how we will be evaluated by others, which only amplifies our anxiety. The more we focus on these external judgments, the more likely we are to spiral into self-criticism. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy: the fear of making a mistake causes us to become so anxious that we inevitably stumble, reinforcing the belief that we’re not capable.

Now that we understand why this fear takes hold, let’s explore how we can silence the doubt and take back control, not only of our public speaking but of how we view ourselves in the face of evaluation by others. By shifting our focus from external judgment to internal confidence, we can break free from the cycle of fear and self-fulfilling expectations, stepping into our true potential.

5 Powerful Ways to Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety

Now that we understand why public speaking anxiety happens, let’s explore some tips to overcome it. The good news is that fear doesn’t have to control you—there are practical strategies to help you calm your nerves, silence self-doubt, and speak with confidence.

If you often feel anxious about public speaking, whether it’s shaky hands, a racing heart, or the fear of forgetting your words, these five powerful techniques will help you manage your anxiety and step into your power as a speaker. Try them out and see what works best for you!

1. EFT Tapping – Your Secret Weapon Against Anxiety

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), or tapping, is a simple yet powerful tool that reduces anxiety by gently tapping on acupressure points while focusing on a specific fear. Studies show that tapping can lower cortisol levels, calming the nervous system and helping us feel more centered.

How to Use EFT for Public Speaking Anxiety:

Tap on the side of your hand while saying:
“Even though I feel anxious about speaking in public, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Now, tap through the following points, repeating the affirmations:

• Eyebrow: “I feel this anxiety in my body.”
• Side of the Eye: “What if I forget my words?”
• Under the Eye: “What if I make a mistake?”
• Under the Nose: “I can feel my heart racing.”
• Chin: “But I choose to release this fear.”
• Collarbone: “I am safe and supported.”
• Under the Arm: “I am prepared and capable.”
• Top of the Head: “I am confident, calm, and ready to speak.”

Finish with a grounding breath.

The beauty of tapping is that it not only reduces stress but also reprograms your subconscious with positive beliefs. To help you get started, I've included a video below that guides you through a round of tapping. Try this before your next speech and notice the shift!

2. Reframe Your Nerves as Excitement

The body’s reaction to anxiety and excitement is almost identical—your heart rate increases, adrenaline surges, and your focus sharpens. This nervousness, though often interpreted as a sign of danger, is actually your body preparing for action. Instead of telling yourself limiting beliefs like, “I’m so nervous,” try saying, “I’m excited to share my message.” This subtle shift in language can trick your brain into seeing the experience as thrilling rather than terrifying. When you approach the situation with excitement, you’re likely to feel more prepared and focused, which enhances your performance.

Additionally, when you reframe your mindset, you’ll naturally engage better with audience members, helping you feel comfortable in your own skin as you speak. The more you embrace this excitement and recognize it as a sign that you’re ready, the more you’ll find that nervousness transforms into positive energy, boosting your confidence and creating a more connected presence with your audience.

3. Visualize Success Before You Speak

Athletes and performers use visualization to enhance their performance, and you can too!

• Close your eyes and imagine yourself confidently walking onto the stage. Pause for a moment and notice how this mental image makes you feel—calm, empowered, and ready.
• Picture the audience smiling and nodding, engaged in your words. Let their positive energy motivate you, reinforcing your confidence.
• Hear your voice strong and steady.

By practicing success in your mind, your brain starts believing it’s possible in reality.

4. Breathe Deeply and Slow Down

When we’re anxious, we tend to take short, shallow breaths, which can make us feel even more panicked. Combat this with deep belly breathing:

• Inhale deeply through your nose for four counts.

• Hold for four counts.

• Exhale slowly through your mouth for six counts.

Slowing your breath tells your nervous system that you’re safe, helping you stay calm and present.

5. Practice, But Make It Fun

Rehearsing your speech is essential, but instead of rigidly memorizing it, try:

• Practicing in front of a mirror – Notice your facial expressions and body language to ensure you're conveying the message effectively.

• Recording yourself – Playback helps you refine your delivery, ensuring that you sound confident and articulate. You’ll also be able to anticipate any audience questions ahead of time, so you’re ready with thoughtful responses.

• Speaking in front of a friend – Their encouragement can boost your confidence, and they can also give you feedback on how well you’re engaging with your material.

• Adding humor – If you can laugh while practicing, you’ll feel more relaxed on stage, and you’ll also become more familiar with your material, making it easier to respond to unexpected situations. Even experienced speakers often rely on humor to help break the tension and engage their audience.

The more you rehearse in a flexible and relaxed way, the better prepared you’ll feel. Being well prepared not only boosts your confidence but also ensures that you have helpful information to share and can comfortably answer any questions the audience may ask. If you're still feeling a little nervous, remember that even the most experienced speakers feel this way sometimes. It’s natural, and embracing it can actually help you connect more with your audience.

Own the Stage and Own Your Voice

Public speaking anxiety isn’t a life sentence. Whether it stems from glossophobia (the fear of public speaking), social phobia, or past negative experiences, it’s a challenge that can be overcome with the right tools and mindset. By using EFT tapping, reframing fear, visualizing success, controlling your breath, and practicing in a way that feels good, you can silence doubt and own the stage. If your anxiety feels overwhelming, seeking support from a mental health or healthcare professional, such as psychotherapy or other one-on-one support, can provide deeper strategies to help you build confidence and overcome your fear in a sustainable way.

Remember, your voice matters. Your message is important. And the world needs to hear what you have to say.

So the next time you step onto that stage, take a deep breath, tap into your power, and speak with confidence. You’ve got this! 💖